Wear these sayings from
Zero Gravy Tees
Excerpts from my Whiteboard
Page Three
Service is expected at time of payment
The revolution has been privatized
There is a new edition of the past due out soon
Reality 1.0 has been withdrawn from production due to persistent failure to meet service levels.
Please return to Fantasy
Cat, Dog and Me - a menagerie a trois
Join the Anti-Death Movement
Due to an increase in efficiency, the future started yesterday
After deep thoughts please use the decompression chamber before returning to trivia
I came, I saw, I concurred.
I'm suffering from carpal tunnel vision.
(Not to be confused with carpool tunnel syndrome, which is fear of commuting to Manhattan from New Jersey)
You! Out of the gene pool! Now!
Its OK to live in the present as long as someone has given you a house
Your kids will get spoilt if you don't put them back in the fridge
I have so much animal magnetism I have to degauss myself to stop my pets coming to work
I have hidden shallows
I am much more superficial than I appear on the surface
As I said to Yogi "We all have our bears to cross"
The shakes are bad, the shudders are worse.
(Shudda done this, shudda done that...)
"And the nominees for the best televised award show are..."
Why did 'starboardability' never catch on?
People with multiple personality disorder should be proud.
Many people struggle to have a single personality.
The eulogist at a mafia funeral is a con tributor.
Bad memories? Fugeddaboudit with 'Milk of Amnesia"
Its OK! I only think I'm delusional.
"I'm a unique, unclassifiable person"
"Ah, so you're one of those, then"
Why am I stuck in here when I should be out perfecting my mood swing?
Its OK to be a naysayer if you are a horse
I'll see your entendre and double it.
My spirit guide advises vodka
When they get old, sled dog brains turn to mush, mush!

Copyright ©2002. David Early. All rights reserved.