|Once upon a time...|
|It was 1963. The world was a scary place. A small boy in a small green moist country had sat on his father's shoulders to watch a cavalcade honoring the man who had drawn the world back from the brink of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
The boy had carefully read the civil defence booklet and had picked the spot for the fallout shelter in his suburban home. He had pestered his father to get sandbags and spare batteries. He worried about where the dog would pee.
Now he had the chance to see the man, the President who had pushed those fears back into the darkness. America became a real place to the boy, a place where men like this lived and changed the world with their words.
A little later, before the evil of the world caught up to the President, the boy was on a trip to a farm with his sister. He went egg-collecting and found an egg so perfect and so white that it seemed to glow. It must have been laid by a magical creature.
That night the boy dreamt of the egg and of the strange country across the ocean. He had a vision of a place crowded with people where noisy machines flew through the air. It was the harvest fair in Richboro Pennsylvania at the climax of the lawn-mower tossing competition. A couple watched as migrant workers showed their skill at twirling gardening equipment around their heads before tossing them still running to mow a target strip of grass unattended.
The woman rubbed her extended belly as the soon to be born child demonstrated a kicking talent that would later bring much joy to dogs. The boy in his dream thought "Here is the princess that I will wed. Here is a worthy recipient of the magical egg. I shall seek her out and rescue her from the belly of a flying creature".
Sex education was not very developed in Ireland at that time and the boy later realized that the more usual practice was for the woman to bring an egg to a man and that a 40-year-old egg was an exceptable gift only if manufactured by Faberge. This and other confusions delayed the search for his princess by many decades. The flying creature turned out to be manufactured by Boeing and the Princess was in most danger from a desire for explosive decompression by defenestrating herself in an effort to escape having to watch J-Lo in 'The Wedding Planner'.
Our hero won her heart by merry banter and a voice that made her go.....
And Time began.